Silence

10 hours of it.





You think you can endure that?
Well I had to back on Saturday at the WSS.
I never want to go through that ever again.
How do you keep a people's person sane throughout 10 miserable hours of silence?
Sure is a hard thing to do.
Well, considering that I couldn't fulfill half of the competition requirements,
I filled my time reading the help section of every program.
Found out a couple of useful stuff too.
And just for kicks,
I hid a few hidden goodies within the website
That would reveal some very 'interesting' messages if the judges found out.
Like,
"Whoops, I forgot to finish this"
Yeah
I was that bored.
You would be if you had to spend 10 hours not knowing how to complete the task you're given.
But it all ended well, with my sanity still intact,
Though I doubt it.
And I was hoping they would at least give us something to bring back home after keeping us away from society for 10 hours...
A little keychain would do.
But no...
They just had to leave us off in a state of semi-consciousness and begging to hear another human voice again.

You know, when I first created this blog, I really never thought that I would complain here.
Like how some people post about their cliche sad life for the sake of self-pity.
Neither did I expect to express such angst.
But then again, I did start the first post out of angst.
I do hope that I can get back to writing my usual columns.
Really miss writing stuff that is actually worth reading.
I'll get back to that soon.
As soon as I have some free time.
Notice the irony.

GP lessons have been rather fun.
We created a new activity.
It's called:
Homosexual necrophilic beastiality.
Figure it, then try it out.
We could use some comments for the next lesson.

Oh, and I figured out what knocked me out at the swim meet.
Yeah, I know, took me a week to realise.
The mis-plunge knocked the air out of my lungs.
That screwed things up more than having my goggles askew.
But heck, like anyone would care...

...not as much as a new sexual activity

Fast Forward

Saturday, March 11 2006

It was the aftermath of the battle
In which my future was decided.
But it's now over.
Just relinquishing the grip that worry had on me.
Only hoping that someday I'll be able to repay the deed
Set upon me.

25 days later...

That last statement is now an understatement.
I'm currently in 3 CCAs already (depends on technicality)
And trying to push my way through to Students' Council.
Oh wait, don't tell them I already have 3 CCAs
Don't think they want overenthusiastic and overcommitted people.
Not to mention I'm representing the college so soon already.
Come June I'll be down for the Pre-University Seminar
Doing what else? Multimedia of course.
Also in Malay Perbayu drama production.
Whose script has more lines than the notes that I can barely memorise.

And on top of that, I'm in the World Skills Sinapore (WSS) Web Design competition.

Went for the briefing last Friday morning.
Never thought that I'd be overwhelmed by ITE students.
Or even laughed at by them.
It took me long enough to realise that it was an open tertiary category
Where participants could also be from polytechnics and ITEs.
And guess what? I'm the only JC competitor
And the youngest.
I read through the expectation list for the website.
Halfway down and I was already lost.
There were acronyms that I didn't know exist.
How the hell am I suppose to compete with them?
With people who STUDY the skills needed in school?!?!
The skills I've got for the websites were those that I learn AFTER school.
On top of other homeworks and revisions and trainings and such!
But heck, looking at past years' winners, I wasn't planning to win anyway.
It will be simply an experience from which I would learn from the professionals.
Then use it back in future JC category competitions, hehehe.

So yeah, that sums to the fact that now I do not have a life.
Again.
My only free time is on Monday afternoons.
Yes, that means even weekends are full.
That Monday will probably be taken up too to make ends meet.
Free time shall now be a word used to reminisc about my kindergarten days.
(unless you consider the time spent mugging on the Eyewitness series)

This week was the college annual swim meet.
Probably the most embarrassing and disappointing time of my life.
Ok, maybe the WSS will be the most embarrassing.
50m freestyle was at least 5 seconds off my personal best.
That's the difference betweeen my current last placing and five places above.
100m freestyle was a disaster.
For the record, yes dear concerned (aka kepo) readers, I screwed up 100m freestyle.
Made the most embarrassing scene in swim meet history.
I'm gonna be on the cover of the next Echo now.
So here's the exclusive first hand details.

1st mistake: Screwed the plunge, causing goggles to go askew, didn't correct.
2nd mistake: Half blind, went blank, lost balance, causing improper breathing.
3rd mistake: Couldn't turn properly to breathe, causing a lot of drinking.
4th mistake: Got bloated sick with water, out of air to continue, paused at 75m.
5th mistake: Didn't pause to catch breathe, giving the audience a full view of my struggle, and the photographers a million shots of that moment.

There you have it guys. An exclusive coverage of that screw-up.



If you think that one month is a short period of time
Think again.
A lot can happen in just one month.
I would know
Because the next time I blog
Another month would have flown by.
Maybe then I can post scans of my interview in Echo.

Anxiety Buried

Dear God
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change those that I can
And the wisdom to know the difference

It turned out

That I did change what I could

And the Devil's pact was an Angel's blessing

And it wasn't my talents that saved me

But my own skills at dealing with the situation

Victory tastes sweet nonetheless

There's still the irony

Of the angel being in blood red that morning

But you can't expect life to be all that dramatic

So now I'm back

For sure

Free from my past obligation

Only needing to repay the blessing, nothing more

Anxiety Dead

Finally

Good news for a change

Surprisingly

After suffering so much

Salvation did not come as a celebration

But merely a relief

How ironic

At a school that is supposedly holy

I signed the Devil's pact

Sold my soul just to stay in place

What is it?

Tomorrow will tell.

Heh, at least I'm staying.

Maybe that's all that matters.

Or is it?




Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

Fatal Anxiety

Time to face the alternate possibility.

Tried my luck on other grounds.

Still

Am I being rejected?

By the very people I hold dear?

"Where the treasure is,

is where your heart belongs."

They say life is a roller coaster

Full of ups and downs.

Actually

Life is a suicidal freefall

Everything just passes by quickly

You just keep going down

And in the end, you know you'll just die.

So what exactly is the point?

Murderous Anxiety

Orientation two this morning.

Sure cheered up the mood a bit.

But

Two days, still no news.

Tick tock tick tock.

Three days more to tick.

The ticking will soon stop.

Where will I be after that?

Anxiety

The weekend has passed.

A call of false hope.

But

Nothing is certain yet.

Another day passed.

Still nothing.

Will I stay?

Tomorrow will tell.

I hope.

Posting

Nothing is ok

But

Yishun?

W

T

F

Anthologies #08 - Unconditional

ALmost a week late, but heck, who's giving the deadlines around here?
Without further ado, presenting my Valentine piece.

**********************************************************************

Seraphim Anthology #08 - Unconditional
A poem by Seraphim

**********************************************************************

If roses are red, and violets are blue,
Sugar is far more sweeter than you.
If winter dawns, and water turns to ice,
A gaze it draws deeper than your eyes.
If the sun sets, and blood trickle,
Your cheeks would match it very little.
If spring comes, and flowers bloom,
Not yours is the smell that fills the room.
If birds would chirp, and the wind sings,
Never would your voice have such a melodious ring.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare,
For it is not one that is born from compare.
A love not from how you are,
Thus a love that has stretch thus far.

**********************************************************************

Heh, I know that if you're a literary fan, you'll be vomiting at the lack of taste in my first attempt at a sonnet. But hey, how many people out there are literature enthusiasts? Or even know what a sonnet is for that matter?

So there you go, my first attempt at a sonnet and my Valentine piece.

Being Blunt

I was there, sitiing in front of my sec 4 form teacher. She handed me a stack of things, smiled, then I walked away. I peeped at the first grade.

3

Disappointment.

Couldn't look at anything else as I was suddenly tailed by a mob of juniors who weren't even getting their results. For some reason, I became a little senseless. Tried to run away from the mob for the next five minutes while trying to make out what the slip was telling me. In the end I gave up and consulted my form teacher again to make sense of things. Didn't help much since she didn't know what it says either. Can't blame her, she's a Chinese teacher after all.

After quite some time, I regained my senses and finally summed up the whole stack of paper into a single number.

14

Disappointment.

What the hell.

All that trouble for that stinking number? Oh sure, the bonus -4 would let me stay at ACJC. But still, what kind bloody score is that? From a school which made history with four 9 A1 students (possibly more considering HMT), countless of 8, 7, 6, 5 A1 students, the top Tamil student, an overhaul of 10, 9, 8, 7 pointers and an overwhelming percentage of distinctions, that number is nowhere of that calibre.

What a shame, to find out that my primary school friends are generally doing rather well. And to think that once upon a time, I was their superior. Got a call from my primary school teacher this morning. Almost didn't have the heart to tell her my results.

You know what? DAMN IT!!!!! 14!!!!!! WHAT - THE -HELL!!!!!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shit really does happen.

But on the brightside...

I'm technically a ten pointer, holder of 4 distinctions, a two page testimnonial, and an ACJC student.

And to think I failed midyear.

Disregarding my own ego, that's not too bad.