Anxiety Dead

Finally

Good news for a change

Surprisingly

After suffering so much

Salvation did not come as a celebration

But merely a relief

How ironic

At a school that is supposedly holy

I signed the Devil's pact

Sold my soul just to stay in place

What is it?

Tomorrow will tell.

Heh, at least I'm staying.

Maybe that's all that matters.

Or is it?




Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

Fatal Anxiety

Time to face the alternate possibility.

Tried my luck on other grounds.

Still

Am I being rejected?

By the very people I hold dear?

"Where the treasure is,

is where your heart belongs."

They say life is a roller coaster

Full of ups and downs.

Actually

Life is a suicidal freefall

Everything just passes by quickly

You just keep going down

And in the end, you know you'll just die.

So what exactly is the point?

Murderous Anxiety

Orientation two this morning.

Sure cheered up the mood a bit.

But

Two days, still no news.

Tick tock tick tock.

Three days more to tick.

The ticking will soon stop.

Where will I be after that?

Anxiety

The weekend has passed.

A call of false hope.

But

Nothing is certain yet.

Another day passed.

Still nothing.

Will I stay?

Tomorrow will tell.

I hope.

Posting

Nothing is ok

But

Yishun?

W

T

F

Anthologies #08 - Unconditional

ALmost a week late, but heck, who's giving the deadlines around here?
Without further ado, presenting my Valentine piece.

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Seraphim Anthology #08 - Unconditional
A poem by Seraphim

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If roses are red, and violets are blue,
Sugar is far more sweeter than you.
If winter dawns, and water turns to ice,
A gaze it draws deeper than your eyes.
If the sun sets, and blood trickle,
Your cheeks would match it very little.
If spring comes, and flowers bloom,
Not yours is the smell that fills the room.
If birds would chirp, and the wind sings,
Never would your voice have such a melodious ring.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare,
For it is not one that is born from compare.
A love not from how you are,
Thus a love that has stretch thus far.

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Heh, I know that if you're a literary fan, you'll be vomiting at the lack of taste in my first attempt at a sonnet. But hey, how many people out there are literature enthusiasts? Or even know what a sonnet is for that matter?

So there you go, my first attempt at a sonnet and my Valentine piece.

Being Blunt

I was there, sitiing in front of my sec 4 form teacher. She handed me a stack of things, smiled, then I walked away. I peeped at the first grade.

3

Disappointment.

Couldn't look at anything else as I was suddenly tailed by a mob of juniors who weren't even getting their results. For some reason, I became a little senseless. Tried to run away from the mob for the next five minutes while trying to make out what the slip was telling me. In the end I gave up and consulted my form teacher again to make sense of things. Didn't help much since she didn't know what it says either. Can't blame her, she's a Chinese teacher after all.

After quite some time, I regained my senses and finally summed up the whole stack of paper into a single number.

14

Disappointment.

What the hell.

All that trouble for that stinking number? Oh sure, the bonus -4 would let me stay at ACJC. But still, what kind bloody score is that? From a school which made history with four 9 A1 students (possibly more considering HMT), countless of 8, 7, 6, 5 A1 students, the top Tamil student, an overhaul of 10, 9, 8, 7 pointers and an overwhelming percentage of distinctions, that number is nowhere of that calibre.

What a shame, to find out that my primary school friends are generally doing rather well. And to think that once upon a time, I was their superior. Got a call from my primary school teacher this morning. Almost didn't have the heart to tell her my results.

You know what? DAMN IT!!!!! 14!!!!!! WHAT - THE -HELL!!!!!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shit really does happen.

But on the brightside...

I'm technically a ten pointer, holder of 4 distinctions, a two page testimnonial, and an ACJC student.

And to think I failed midyear.

Disregarding my own ego, that's not too bad.

Waving the blue, yellow, red flag

School! Junior college! Anglo-Chinese Junior College! I was thinking of keeping the name references to a minimum, thus the vagueness of the 8 Jan entry, but you know what? Screw the potential suers who are desperate to exploit innocent bloggers! Let freedom of speech be true to it's words!

That was a complete diversion from my intended topic FYI. School's boring? That's what most people who go to schools where they just teach the 1 to 10 of NeoPrint posing would say. The same does not apply if you go to a school which has a metro for a DM, a gollum impersonator for a history teacher, a vulgar Englishman for a literature teacher, errr... nothing exciting for the science students though, a cake food fight for every birthday, eye candy all day, dunking at the pool whenever the attendant isn't looking, a rule that involves your friend and light shining, and did I say eye candy? All that beginning with the blessing of a dead lord every morning. Yup, that's my school alright.

ACJC is a fairly nice place. I mean HELL YEAH it's a nice place! We've got the best sports facility! Woo hoo! Ok, maybe except for the toilet. I'm so jealous! The girls have a bright, cheery, yellow toilet but the guys get a dull blue. Maybe it's to camouflage the shit that you'd frequently find in odd places at the cubicles. But then again, I can't say the toilets are bad. It's a universal condition for the male toilets to be bad due to their masculine practises.

ACJC is the home to swim P.E. Yup, SWIM PE. How cool is that? Ok ok, other than being the main concern of the male desire, it's sure a hell lot of fun nonetheless. I learnt quite a lesson at the last session, that being a lifeguard is the dullest thing ever. The only thrilling moment when I had to do lifeguard duty during the lesson was when someone appeared to be struggling in the pool. That was when my fellow swimmer-on-lifeguard-duty-mate got over-excited and threw the floating device to him. Of course, he wasn't in any danger, but I dare add that the float hitting him straight in the head was a greater danger.

As for appearance, you can more or less look as and how you wish. Heck, you can even dye your hair if you want. Just claim that you're a swimmer and your hair to bleached. I'm not sure if bleaching causes a variety of colour change though. For the shoes, you're supposed to wear those with 70% white. Like how the hell do you calculate that? But the shoes there are quite sick actually. Study a passing crowd and you'll alternate between Nike and Adidas. Hairstyle is not much of a problem. A friend (aka soliloquy master), happened to have a physics teacher on PMS one day and was introduced to a pseudorule of a ban on gelled hair. I don't really think that's an actual rule, noone else knew about it, including our dear metro DM. He of course sobbed as a soliloquy siren all the way home.

There was cross-country this afternoon. It was quite an interesting affair, began with students getting lost in the weirdest bus routes, like my friends and I who ended up passing by a sim Lim lookalike. As per the universal cross-country tradition, there were people hell-bent on strolling all the way. And of course there are the anorexic (ok, maybe not so) athletes who take up the top few positions. I nobly ran for my house to give my share of two points for the house system. LSG won both boys champion and girls champion, and of course, overall champion btw. Go LSG! We rawk!

I'd love to write more, but I'm behind time on my EXCITING literature assignment, instead of any BORING science MUGGING that some of the students have to do. So until next time, may your flag bear the same colours as mine in the future.





P.s.: Thanks for ur blog greeting pumpkin! And the other million greetings that you sent me through all means of communications!

JC 101

Dummy's (express) Guide to Surviving JC
(at least for mine)

Coming into school alone or planning to get to junior college?
Here's some nifty tips to get you going.

1. Be cool
Don't try to be cool, don't act cool, just be it.
But if you can't, just don't bother. Rather not be a poser.

2. Take up a sport
Chicks dig it, man. Besides, it's cool to be wearing the school colours.
To top it up, you'll look good too, hehe.

3. Develop a talent
Noone wants a pure academic anymore. You gotta be more than just a student.
You can't lose out on experience to those nuts at the poly you know.

4. Know the right people
Not really to be popular (yeah right), but to get to know even more people.
If you know someone who knows ten others, you know eleven people already.

5. Get yourself known
It's sad, but popularity is still a major factor in college.
Not just for social reasons, but for other reasons as well.
You'll need it to even get into the students' council.
Out of ideas? Just do a publicity stunt.

6. Never get broke
When you're popular (or not), you're bound to get invitations to a million outings.
Unless you have unlimited fundings, I suggest you plan your expenditure.
But if you find yourself broke, good luck.

7. Bring all sorts of attire
Hey, let's go to the gym! You'd get that at any college.
Hey, let's go swimming! That's harder to dress up for, or rather, dress down.
There's a million and one things to do at school, and even after that.
You don't want to change for swimming and find out that you're just wearing your birthday suit.

8. Master digression
A most useful art. With such colourful people in the school, you're soon to run out of things to flaunt.
Top marks in class still can't beat the jaguar your friend came to school in.
Could save you from social fatality.

9. Learn how to dodge
The discipline master could pick out offences you'd never realise in a million years.
That could set you back two hours in the afternoon.
Best to just avoid that.

10. Get close to your class (and your OG)
They'll be like your family during your stay at the school.
You'll never run out of people to sit with during lunch or go out with after school.
Or borrow notes from when you're taking a break during lectures.


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Forbidden Files #04 - Behind the Eagle Dragon's Roar

Happy new year guys! It's been too long since I blogged, and longer still since my last exposé. So I thought of kicking off the year with one, and also something that pertains a little closer to me. There you have it, enjoy.

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Forbidden Files #04 - Behind the Eagle Dragon's Roar
An exposé by Seraphim

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On the morning of 3rd January 2006, I awoke with very blurred vision after not waking up so early in the morning for months. That day I wore my colour of blue, without the glitter and silk, though how I missed those on me. The atmosphere outside was just as how I remembered it the last time I went out to school. It was a little colder this time, with the frequent rain. Along the way, I met my brothers in blue, heading towards others of our colour. It was a new year, a new term at school, and all was like how it used to be.

That is not entirely true though. While those whom I met in blue were heading off to one destination, I was off to another. In the same colour, I bore a different badge. One shining with a mythical creature with the body of a dragon, eagle's wings and the head of a lion. A creature belonging to a family with a most proud heritage. That, was the badge I bore.

When one walks through the grounds underneath the red, yellow and blue banner, one can tell the proud history that accumulated at the school. As honourable as it is, the students there seem to take on a different image in the eyes of the outsiders. If you know what I'm talking about, you should know what they are called. If you don't, gee get a brain and look around for the good JCs. To put it simply, students there are known as arrogant snobs.

Is that even true? After having some first hand experience there myself, I don't see how that can be so. Okay, maybe that's a little true. Slightly more. Okay okay, it's a quite true... On a more serious note, it's surprising how such a rumour even sprouted. Shocking, but true.

The school's history stands proud with a very impressive CCA record, in the achievement of sports, excellence of performing arts and reputation of the clubs and societies. Overall, the school has a positive front to the public.

Perhaps this rumour sprouted from jealousy, as what I have found the seniors to claim. Not jealousy of the school's achievements, as that would have obviously made them arrogant anyway, but of the school's spirit. There, there is a very strong sense of culture and identity amongst the students. A sense of belonging so strong it is like an everylasting flame in the hearts of every students. None is shameful to bear the badge and shout the school's name. That is the fiery passion they have for the school.

Personally, I would really dismiss the rumour. I can't think of another explaination or excuse to it. That is just the only reason for it, nothing else. It's as simple as that.

Maybe the rumour is true, or maybe not. That is up to you.

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I hope that's a good enough article to start off the year and continue my 'highly acclaimed' Forbidden Files series. For those in JCs, hope you guys had a wonderful orientation. For those not, SUCK-ERS!

Oh, and my OG ROCKS!!!! We are gonna send a probe to Uranus!

Andalite, Carnsir, the WORLD. ACSperience, you've got to have it!


Btw, here's my personality disorders:

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Disorder:	High
Schizoid Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Disorder:	Moderate
Antisocial Disorder:	Moderate
Borderline Disorder:	Low
Histrionic Disorder:	Moderate
Narcissistic Disorder:	High
Avoidant Disorder:	Low
Dependent Disorder:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Moderate

Paranoid? So true... Narcissist? HAHA! YES!!!


Seer


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