NOTE: The entry below has actually been worked on many many times before this final release version, largely due to procrastination to complete it. So pardon me if some sections do not sound coherent or if they sound as if they were written by different people, I am a little schizophrenic. But lo and behold, it is finally finished, so before I apologise yet again for the long delay, enjoy the article.
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After more than a year and many many months since my last decent post, I've finally decided to break my long persistent procrastination and create a third addition to my long forgotten Wilderness Series. For those who have forgotten, here's a link to the previous release:
The Wilderness Series #02 - Behind These Wandering Eyes
As a tribute to the previous post, this one talks about friends as compared to guys. So there you go, enjoy!
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The Wilderness Series #03 - Comrades In Arms and Surrender
An article by Seraphim
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If I were to ask you, who can't you live your life without? Go past your corny cliche answer of your loved one and answer that truthfully. Okay, also exclude your maid out of that answer. What do you get? Your friends! You maid-cleaner-gardener-chauffer dependant lazy pigs! Yup, truth be told, you really can't imagine going through your whines and traumas without those creatures that you constantly abuse.
On a closer examination, friends come in different shapes, sizes, and purpose. Yes, purpose. There's always a reason why humans do the things they do, whether they're conscious of it or not. If you're still wondering what they could possibly be, read on, and discover the true cynical side to yourself.
For pure, genuine, goody-goody old-fashioned friendship
Well, if you live in the Disney movie world, you would know what I'm talking about. Some of you fairy tale suckers out there still believe in what is termed 'true friendship', where you really befriend someone unconditionally. As in, for free. I repeat, you kiasu Singaporeans, FREE! *gasp* Is that possible? Nah. Wake up people, we live in a world where nothing's free anymore. Not for real anyway. There's always a drawback for everything there is. So let's believe in some humanity and look inside yourself and find that truth as to why you tolerate that obnoxious friend of yours.
For Company
Hah, got you there. Even if this sounds harmless, it is nonetheless a selfish motivation, isn't it? How many times was it that you ask for the accompaniment of others because you don't want to appear anti-social in that high school environment of yours, don't want to be afraid to go to that spooky toilet or just can't stand the state of solitude that will haunt you if you are left in isolation. Oh, how hard the realisation hits you now, eh? Yes my dear sinful readers, you have committed this act before. Well, if you have any friends at all that is.
For fun
Not for fun as in for no reason at all, you simple minded caveman. As in, for fun and laughter, peace and joy. When you’re feeling high as if you’ve slurped sugar concentrated redbull with double shot of expresso, these kind of people are those who you look for to exert your excessive energy on. Probably also because they can get similarly high or are feeling just as high as you. Hell breaks loose when you guys are together in that discombobulating state of mind. One word to describe it? Crazy.
For benefits
The epitome of superficialism, this is it. Not everybody is meant for everybody else, but there are some people out there who you would like to be with because through them you can get what you want. It can be a lot of things, like other friends, money’s a common one, connections, and the list goes on and on. This is not something that everyone would do, but people who are wise, or plain old devious, would do this to achieve their ends. Not to say that this is dishonourable, to be realistic, but this is something that you would do if you want to survive in a competitive urban environment.
For other benefits
Friends with benefits. Sounds familiar? Yes, when two lonely souls chance upon each other in a time of social need and suppressed lust, the inevitable happens. You know you cannot, will not or do not want to be together, but that itch in your nether regions bring you both together for that release of wild energy building up inside you during the time you are apart. Do not be shameful of it, we understand the need for it, though the rest of society might shun you for that act. But hey, deep down, they understand too.
Okay, that’s all that I can come up with the half-mind that I have right now. I don’t know why but I always seem to be doing these types of articles when I’m feeling high, so pardon the weird incoherent language. So there you have it guys, the different friend classifications there are (or at least some of them). Just like the previous release, this classification can be interchangeable and intertwined, so have fun figuring out why you’re wasting your time with that bird brain sitting in front of you.
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