The Prejudgement Day

Daily Schedule (before exams)

0530 - Wake up, press snooze
0535 - Where's that snooze button...
0540 - Farhan!!! Wake up!!!
0600 - Breakfast *flop* head in breakfast bowl
0615 - Zzzz....
0645 - Damn, gotta go school...
0700 - Darn, where's all the councillors?
0720 - Mari kita... zzz....

0730-1030 - School

1030 - Reccess!!! Errr.. yummy...

1100 - 1400 - School

1300 - Can't... open... eyes... Zzzz...
1400 - Woohoo! Another beat up session in class! So guys, who's the victim today?
1430 - Phew, that was fun

1500 - Finally home... Damn, more junk e-mails
1530 - Too tired.. to.. work... Zzz...
1800 - Shit, lots to do...
1815 - Scrub scrub scrub... la la la... *slip, kapow, OW*

1900 - Maths practice paper
2100 - I 1 2 5lp... +h15 15 b0r1ng...

2115 - Science practice paper
2300 - These papers are catalysts to the reaction that will bring me to bed...

2315 - Argh!!! What is this? More homework?!?!
2345 - Teachers don't know mercy...

0000 - *slurp slurp* Coffee... must... have... coffee...
0015 - Revise? What's that? New brand of coffee?
0100 - Zzzz...

0300 - No! No! The books are eating me! No! No!
0315 - The numbers are subtracting me!
0330 - The metre rule is whacking me!
0345 - Aaaaaaaaaaaargh!!! That BEARD!!!

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Ah, revision. Such a wonderful thing isn't it?

The Fellowship of the Wok

Okay okay, you can be mad at me if you want to, I feel mad at myself myself. It's been two weeks since I updated this thing, too busy. You know, homework this revision that... Anyway, I'm quickly typing this before school so that there is a new entry up. I'll work on better ones when I get the time. (probably not soon)

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#04 - The Tale of the Undecided Tales: Fellowship
A fiction by Seraphim and friends

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The days went by as fast as the leaves fell onto the forest floor. Some time had passed since he found the One Wok of Ruling. During that time, he discovered some of the Wok's powers; to be able to control minor forest creatures and give himself some... controlled pleasure. I mean, hey, he was bored, so he tried to have fun with what else, himself.

After ages of staying alone in the forest with nothing to do, a loud bellowing of a horn was heard. Actually, it sounded as if the horn blew out a whining. Curious as to what made that strange sound, he went looking for the source of that noise.

What he found was the most queer thing that ever existed. He found a group of people, oddly matched and had the most curious characteristics. The one with the whining horn was a man with an outrageous beard, which seemed to be possessing motion of its own. The second was a knightly looking figure, but instead of a sword he wielded a large pencil and armoured with paper. His shield was but a large eraser. The third wasn't so apparently spotted, for she melted right into the shadows of the trees. When she finally stepped out of the shadows, she looked just like him; with the raven black complexion.

The man clad in hair stepped towards him. He opened his mouth to speak, which of course was hidden beneath the thick layers of hair, which made his voice seem to come from the hair itself. "Hear ye, hear ye, the Dark One of the forest. We from the distant lands have learnt of the reclaiming of the One Work of Ruling. Our ancient prophecy states, under section 407.11b paragraph 3 clause seven, that one who reclaims the One Wok of Ruling must bring it to the land of the Smelly Kitchen. With him will be his protectors, to make sure that he changes his underwear everyday.", declared the hair clad man.

Shoving the hairy one aside, the paper armoured knight cut him off. "Ah yes, where are our manners? Let me first introduce ourselves. I am the Voodoo Artist of the Square Table. The hairy one here is none other than the Bearded One. And our fair lady, or not so fair, is the DM of Wok. We are here to escort you to the land of the Smelly Kitchen, where you will return the Wok to where it truly belong."

"But I don't want to. It's mine! Mine alone! No one shall touch my little... precious...", he dragged. Cheerfully, the Voodoo Artist replied, "Oh, ok then. Guess we'll have our adventure elsewhere boys and girls!"

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Yes, it's true. I have lost my marbles. Comment on this one while I come up with another not so crappy entry.

Thus Goes the Tale

Hmmm... Nothing creative popped up in my head lately, so for today I'll just be continuing some previous series. Anyway, what's with all of you not participating in the poll anyway? Do you guys know where it is or can't it be seen? If you can see it, just vote on it!!! How hard is it for me to get some response from you guys man?!

Anyway, now that the war for Heaven's Hell Grounds is over, the Seraphim are thinking of rebuilding the place into something new. (P.S.: For more info on what the hell the war is about, read entry 09Aug - 29Aug) It might take time for those heavenly creatures to rebuild this place, so don't count on a change of looks anytime soon.

Since the replies in the tagboard has been kinda positive, the fates look bright for our guy in the Tales of the Undecided Tales. I’ve decided to base it on my previous entry. So let's hope he doesn't face any more bad luck in today's episode, the longest yet. Also, I've included another '10 Reason...' feature in today's entry. Hope you guys enjoy reading!

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#03 - The Tale of the Undecided Tales: Reclaiming
A fiction by Seraphim and friends

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He had no dreams. No memory of things that passed haunted his unconsciousness. He had had a peaceful time drifting down the waters in his rejuvenating sleep. When he awoke, he was at a river bank, hidden amongst the lush greenery of the unknown foliage.

He got up to his feet feeling fresh and awake. The cool air and the rising sun told him that it was still early in the morning. Curious about his location, he started to wander in through the thick wilderness. It was strange that he felt neither hunger nor exhaustion. Perhaps he was dreaming after all. Perhaps none of the experience was real.

After some time walking, he found a small clearing in the middle of the forest. in the middle of it stood a tree stump, with a great many number of rings on it, signifying the tree's age. On it rests a most curious object. Out there, in the middle of the forest, he found of all things, a wok resting on the tree stump. He almost dropped to his knees laughing because of the ache in his stomach. Why in the world was a wok doing on the tree stump in the middle of the forest? Out of curiousity, and slight humour, he approached the tree stump to get a closer look.

Upon close inspection, he noticed that the tree stump had rough words inscribed on it. It said, "The One Wok of Ruling". Wonder what that is, he thought. Without much thought, he stretched out his hand to reach for the wok. It felt strange, peculiarly smooth. When he removed his hand, he found thick, black soot all over it. When he attempted to brush them off, they seem to spread across his skin. The rate the soot spread was alarming. The harder he tried to brush it off, the faster it spread. Ultimately, his whole body was covered in soot.

In the midst of his confusion, he suddenly calmed down. The covering of the soot brought not only a darker complexion, but it brought him knowledge on the wok’s past. In the blink of an eye he learnt that the wok was really the One Wok of Ruling that had the power to control the beings of the forest. After centuries, it has passed out of possession and knowledge, leaving it abandoned there until a destined one is fated to find it. Now that it has been found, who knows what tales will unfold for both the Wok and our hero.

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Spill it guys, it’s lame. It’s meant to be. I meant for it to be whacky, so it is. Anyway, I need suggestions on what happens next. Also, can you guys come up with a name for our guy here? It’s a little difficult to call him ‘him’. While you guys think about that, enjoy the next feature.

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Top Ten Reasons That Make You An Exco

10. You don’t have a life

09. You ask for a revolution, but you only show humiliation

08. You consist of nine people, though half turn up at any meeting

07. You start meeting late because you are late

06. You often converse with a certain dark phantom and emerge half an hour later without any idea what has been said

05. Your hobby is to screw up every event that you organize

04. You are led by someone that needs to be led

03. You will always be early for anything because only those after you are considered late

02. Your routine consists of getting stressed, getting sleepy and getting lost

01. You’re supposedly the best of the best *cough* worst *cough*

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The Educational Conspiracies

Damn, another week passed since my last entry. I'm really sorry guys, I feel so guilty looking at the rising visitor count and not giving you guys something new to read. And another full moon has passed... Damn. So as a tribute for teachers' day, here's something related to the teachers.

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The Educational Conspiracies
On the surface, the teachers at Commonwealth Secondary looks like normal, innocent humans. But are they truly as they seem to be? An insider has uncovered the truth about some of the teachers. So if you really wish to find out the true conspiracies the teachers has been planning, read on. Beware, the truth might be too bitter.

The One Wok to Rule them all
The current discipline mistress has been recently instated her position. Many wonder why the previous successful DM is not in power anymore, left almost isolated out of the memory of most.
The Truth
Long has the previous DM been successful due to her One Wok that rules them all. With it, she was able to maintain power over the students, bending their will to suit her dark motives. But what goes around comes around. A new dark power was arising. The new power has stolen the One Wok. And with it she used the soot to create a protective covering over herself. Now, enhanced with the powers of the ebony coating over her and the One Wok, she had the power to rule over the students and damned the previous DM to isolation. The Dark One now rules. However, the power proved too great for her to control. She has not been able to control most of the students. She could only keep on pursuing her dreams of covering the whole school in soot, turning them into one of her...

The Voodoo Artist
Shortly after the appearance of Mr Ch(a)ng(e), Mr (S)Lim, his rival has been deteriorating and soon became unfit to teach. He ended up quitting teaching completely. Being the good one, Mr Ch(a)ng(e)took pity over Mr (S)Lim's students and took over him. With his artistic skills, he quickly won over the students' interest.
The Truth
As attractive as the drawings might be, there is more to it than meets the eye. Mr Ch(a)ng(e)is not only a brilliant artist, he is a practitioner of Voodoo Drawing. Having found Mr (S)Lim threatening to his career, he used his skill in the dark arts to draw a two dimentional Mr (S)Lim and inflicted onto him unimaginable torture. Now nothing stands in the way of Mr Ch(a)ng(e)and his pencil...

The Hidden Alliance
Recently, it has been spotted that the great Bearded One has been seen working together with the Egoistic I(diotic)T(eacher) in charge. It seems that they have learnt to put aside their differences to combine their strenghs to achieve a greater achievement for the school.
The Truth
Both of them have discovered that with both their strengths, they could bring the school to their knees. The Bearded One, with his superios stealth ability to hide things within his hairy parts, and the Egoistic I(diotic)T(eacher) in charge, with his ability to mesmerize students with flashy computerised projections. Together, the Egoistic I(diotic)T(eacher) in charge was able to sneak his mesmerizing devices thanks to the Bearded One anywhere to ensnare any students that displeases them. Although they are making slow progress, they are constantly working on things to one day, bring the school to their knees...

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Well guys, that's all I have for now. I really hope that I can come up with another entry sooner so that you guys will be able to enjoy them. If you guys don't enjoy them, well just enjoy them.

May your teachers' conspiracy be exposed...

Seraphim Anthologies #02 - The Will Denied

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Seraphim Anthology #02 - The Will Denied
A poem by Seraphim

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Why do I know, but cannot defy
Upcoming things, that pass by my eyes
The fact remains, the future unchanged
Despite the knowledge, interference caged

Why can I inflict, but nothing shatters
My wrath unleashed, the target misses
Powers I wield, nothing but futile
The threats given, found all but mild

Why can I heal, but I'm left broken
My body bruised, my soul shaken
Inside of me, the wound remains
Blood still rushing, the eternal pain

Why nature's path, it's strength unwind
The will that's pulled, still acts like vines
Within myself, the vines retangle
To bind my actions, my words mingled

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Another mix of inspiration and emotion over there. Fells much better now that it's out. Well, like I said, the feature story is based on what's on the tagboard. Since all I see is flood messages, guess what I wrote about? So, here's the second part to the story.

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#02 - The Tale of the Undecided Tales: Flooding
A fiction by Seraphim and friends

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The pit seemed endless, seemed to stretch out into the infinite abyss. Fortunately for him, the end was nearer than he thought. With a loud splash he reached the bottom of the pit. It was not a pit, but a cave. Surprisingly there was illumination that came from nowhere, making everything that was in the cave visible. The water was deep, and despite the illumination he could not tell how deep the water was. With a renewed sense of hope, he made his way to the edge of the water.

Time lost hold of him a long time ago, since he was wandering in the darkness. It did not matter as he seemed to be lingering along eternity in his lost state. But as his arms grew tired of swimming, he regained his sense of timing. No matter how long he had been swimming, the edge of the water did not come nearer. In fact, it seemed to stretch on further, even though he was moving towards the supposed 'edge'. Then he realised that it was not a current as he suspected that was pulling him, it was the water level that was rising.

Panic washed through him as he realised the threat of drowning. Then it struck him as strange that he was worrying about death. Why did it matter to him? Then he became bliss of his mortality, easing all efforts to stay afloat and allowed himself to be dragged away by the shifting waters.

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Gilded Grimoire #02 - The Last Stand

Rafahn: Damn, it’s been ages since there was a last post. Farhan would like to greatly apologize for this, don’t you Farhan?
Farhan: *choke* Argh, yes, yes *choke*
Rafahn: So to start things off again, I squeezed a story from Farhan’s brain for you guys to enjoy.

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Gilded Grimoire #02 - The Last Stand - Resistance
A fiction by Seraphim

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The ground was constantly shaking as the human hordes strode through the ruined landscape that was once a haven to the Seraphim. Step after step, they sent clouds of dust into the stifling air. The heavens were dark, full of the choking smoke that rose from the ruined city. Heaven's Hell Grounds was reduced to ruins after the Humans with Nothing Better to Do had invaded the peaceful city and ended the reign of peace.

The Seraphim who once called that place home were now all but alive, lying in heaps atop the debris of the city. Powerful as they might have been, the human hordes overtook them with their sheer number. That was not surprising considering their animalistic males and willing females which kept their species flourishing. Now it was them who claimed the place, soon to be made their city and reproduction grounds, already defiling it with their very presence.

Despite their victory, it was not complete. They still have yet to claim the center of city, otherwise known as The Contents. The Seraphim could have been announced extinct, if it was not for the one remaining survivor of the ambush. At the highest peak of the tallest tower, a lone Seraph stood his ground, stubbornly refusing to accept defeat and still clinging on to a fool's hope that his species had a chance.

The human leader took his time to climb up the tower. He ordered for the last Seraphim to be left alone, so that he could have the pleasure of ending the graceful race himself. When he arrived at the top, he unsheathed his broadsword and faced the already armed angel.

“Seraph, Seraph, when will you ever learn? Your race is done for, get that into your heavenly brain,” teased the human, “ It is no use fighting back now; the rest of your kind is gone. There is no one else to help you.”

Seraph swung his sword at the human in protest, who lazily dodged it. “That is where you are wrong, human. You think that killing us is the way to end us, do you?”

“Well, if you don’t believe in death, I’ll bring it to you!”, bellowed the reply.

With that last reply, the human went for a strike, but Seraph was too quick for him. He was struck first, only saved by a quick parry, which his reflexes spared. Again, he brought his sword around and went for swing while Seraph recovered from the first strike. To his dismay, the attack was parried.

“Is this how you intend to end me, human?”, jested the angel. “Fine then, I’m getting bored with toying with you feathery beings anyway. It’s time that your race is finally dead. Now, I shall end this!”, came the reply.

At the last remark, the human summoned to him the energies from his mountain homelands into the very sword that he wielded. The sword glowed red then burst into a flaming sword. Armed with a new weapon, he gave a war cry that made all human eyes below turn to him then went for the final strike. Despite having the attack parried, Seraph could not stand the force of the blow and was struck straight to the stomach.

The human took a few steps back to admire the scene of the dying angel. A loud bellowing of a laugh was heard throughout the entire realm. “Do you really think that this will be the end of us, human? Do you really think that we would fall this pathetically? We might fall someday, but before we do, we would put up one, last, stand!!!”, screamed the angel through his wound.

Summoning new strength, the Seraph found the will to stand up. From the depth of his mind the Seraph brought forth his gift, the purpose that he existed. He brought his sword his above his head to point at the sky and muttered ancient words of power. With that, the angel started emitting heavenly light that truly brought out his splendour and sent a blinding beam of light straight to the skies.

Upon the strike, the skies opened up and from it flew the souls of fallen angels. They seemed like a glowing cloud, while wandering around, looking for their former bodies to return to. Once their bodies were found, they possessed them, bringing the body back to life. The purpose of the lone Seraph had been fulfilled. The Seraphim were going to fight, for one last time.

The human leader was paralyzed with the restoration of the Seraphim race. Below, his troops were busy fighting the newly reformed army. At first glance, it seemed as though the Seraphim were going to win back their city after all. However, their rebirth was still no match for the great number of the human hordes.

When it looked as if the Seraphim were done for, again, there was the sound of a horn blowing from the horizon. Across the barren city, the heavenly reinforcements have finally arrived. At last, there was some real hope to the Seraphim.

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Rafahn: Woah, that was a little long. Not to mention undeniably boring.
Farhan: *punch* Ah, that’s quieter. Anyway, I was thinking of creating a new weekly feature. It’s a fiction story where you guys get to give me ideas and we’ll work along from there. So, here’s the first part of the story for you guys to continue from.

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#01 – The Tale of the Undecided Tales
A fiction by Seraphim and friends

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The darkness consumed all. There was no sound, no light, nothing that hi senses could perceive. He just kept walking in the darkness, unsure of his motive. He did not even know what he was doing there. As he walked, the darkness felt more comfortable to him, as if he belonged to it. Soon his thoughts drifted to his life. The next thing he knew, he was falling.

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Final Words

>Command prompt
>Accessing remote mainframe
>********
>Access granted, loading…

……………………………………………………100%

>Accessing historical archive
>Inserting new historical record

>Status report of Heaven’s Hell Grounds
Damage attained on all four wings. Life support systems running on minimal power. Possibility of survival: 0%

>Event Log
The attack began within Heaven’s Hell Grounds itself. The Tagboard Sector was being taken over by the Humans with Nothing Better to Do. They had infiltrated the sector and worked their way out to the other parts of the grounds. Everywhere they went they engulfed the place in a wave of destruction. It is official. We are under attack.

>Distress signal to all available outposts
The Tagboard Humans have destroyed most parts of the grounds. They have also managed to break into the Opinion Compiler, which now lies in ruins along with the other sectors. The last remaining Seraphim are requesting that all Hell Outposts within range are to send reinforcements immediately upon receiving this transmission. Though the Tagboard Humans might have taken over the entire grounds when reinforcements arrive, we still cannot allow them to gain control over the central mainframe; The Contents. For eons have they tried and are still failing to control the Contents of the grounds. Even as you receive this, the Contents are still under full control of the Seraphim, who are enjoying their power over it while watching the humans powerless to take over it. They cannot be allowed to finally conquer it.

>Final request
Since the discovery that the Humans have nothing better to do, god knows what else they might do to this blog. This means that the Seraphim might not survive to tell future tales of their alluring nature and offer it to others. If those out there might regret the loss of such pleasurable beasts, put an end to the Humans with Nothing Better to Do.

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Editor's Note:
If it doesn't mean anything to you, well then too bad. Don't bother trying to make yourself intelligent to understand the message behind it, you're not capable.

Reaching the Limit

At a psychologist's therapy centre

Rafahn: Ahhhh!!! I can't take it any more!!! How is this possible? The humans really have nothing better to do than try shut me down!!!

Psychologist: Calm down Rafahn. I can’t help you with you screaming like that all the time. Now tell me your problem slowly, from the start.

Rafahn: Panting, slowly calming down It all began a long time ago, in a place not so far away. Those damn humans were doing their little human thing with each other.

Psychologist: What little human thing?

Rafahn: You know, when you made your wife squeal? A theory drifted into Farhan’s head, that the humans have nothing better to do. At first, I contradicted with his idea, as usual.

Psychologist: So why did you contradict his ideas in the first place?

Rafahn: I’m his opposite damn it! His other self. I’m everything he is not. So naturally I contradicted his ideas. It wasn’t an exception for this one. But as time passed by, that damn idea was being realized as true. I couldn’t accept that! My very existence ran on contradiction. Acceptance was my bane, and it was that thing which brought it about!

Psychologist: Calm down. Perhaps you could find an alternative to fuel yourself. You know you couldn’t deny the truth in his words

Rafahn: It’s not that. It’s just that saying humans have nothing better to do has become a cliché. Suddenly realizing that it was for real was... traumatic! For crying out loud! The humans REALLY have nothing better to do!!! Look at them trying to bring me down! What kind of bloody shit is that?! Can’t they just god damn understand that I am immortal?! That means that I CANNOT die!!!

Psychologist: Now, now Rafahn, be realistic. You can’t really be immortal…

Rafahn: I’m just a damn fragment of a bloody imagination. Immortality is an understatement; I cannot die for I never lived. Anyway, why the hell are they trying to do something that cannot be done?! I mean, hey you damned humans out there!!! I’m still alive and kicking right here and hauling these profanities at you without even getting my ass kicked! Do you know what this proves?!?!

Psychologist: What?

Rafahn: THAT THEY HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO!!! Aaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!! The reality of it is killing me!!! They have nothing better to do!!!! They really have nothing better to do!!! Oh, for the love of god, save me from this traumatic reality!!!

Psychologist: Erm, guards, send this subject to the hopeless department please. We’ll get back to him in about another decade.

Farhan: Bloody hell, what in the world are you doing with a part of my head? Get back in here your filthy scum!

Rafahn: Aaaaah!!! The pain, the pain! Make it stop!!!

Farhan: Ah shut up. Stay in there and keep quiet.

Psychologist: Errr, you do realize you still have to pay for my services right?

Farhan: You talking to me?

Psychologist: Cowards away Oh nevermind...

Internal Affairs

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Within the deep crevices of Farhan’s abnormally brilliant brain, there resides the actual thinking process that dominates his decision. At the head of the council is STRUCTURE, in a formal suit with a laptop and Starbucks coffee. Peering over the laptop is none other than CURIOUSITY, with a long nose and clothes with all imaginable colours on it. Pondering deeply at those fascinating clothes is INSPIRATION, in an angelic-looking robe with a halo mysteriously floating above. With him is PASSION, clad in fiery red and constantly in ecstasy at the lively activities around him. IMITATION seems to wear a mix of everything the others are wearing. Looking rather annoyed is REBELLION, dressed in punk clothing.
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STRUCTURE
Guys, listen up. Farhan is in urgent need to prepare future blog entries. We need to think up of some new writing styles.

CURIOUSITY
Why new writing styles?

REBELLION
Because those stereotypical ones on the nets about losers elaborating on their sucky lives just suck. We need some new ones that will kick them in the ass.

PASSION
All right then. I’d like to see some new ones myself. Let’s get some ideas to start with.

IMITATION
Fanfics, fiction written by fans about what they idolize. Make the entries look like fanfics written by someone who’s a fan of Farhan.

STRUCTURE
You’ve got an interesting concept there. But we have to make it original, something of our own creation. Inspiration, enlighten us on this one.

INSPIRATION
Hmm… Let me see… Something suitable for a blog, with a touch of fanfic in it… How about a twist of reality, to rewrite actual events as if they happened in a fictional world, not bound by realistic limitations.

STRUCTURE
And we have an original idea ladies and gentlemen. So we have some fictional entries that have a tint of real world events. How else can we make this more interesting?

PASSION
We could have each of these fiction based on one specific emotion. Something like the fiery passion of Vengeance and the solemn emptiness of Hopelessness.

INSPIRATION
Let me see… Liberation, Endlessness, Pleasure, Emptiness, Bliss, Rebelliousness…

REBELLION
I like the sound of it. We need something that will create some talk among the readers, something referring to them. We need to get them talking back to us. Breaking their rules is something that will surely get them talking.

STRUCTURE
Calm down Rebellion. Until Inspiration gets us something good, I’d rather have you sit down quietly.

CURIOUSITY
Wait, before we go on to other things, why are we even using creative writing styles to write this blog? It doesn’t seem appropriate. I still don’t get it.

REBELLION
Because normal blogs are just bullshit. What we’re trying to do here is to at least make interesting bullshit.

STRUCTURE
Now that you’ve mentioned it Curiousity, it does seem weird to make boring things interesting.

REBELLION
Go read Farhan’s blog will ya. Then see how things can get interesting.

STRUCTURE
Read it? I WROTE it!

IMITATION
Yes my precious, once the hobbits are dead, the ring will be ours!!!

INSPIRATION
A-ha! Another character!

CURIOUSITY
Err…. How does that relate to the conversation?

STRUCTURE
I get what he means. Another way to make the entries more interesting would be to include another character other than the author himself.

PASSION
An interesting choice would be to have someone so different yet similar to the author himself, like Gollum.

REBELLION
Ooooh! I know! I know! Let’s have his opposite self! What better way to portray hatred and depression than have the very person that the author is not? That way, he’ll be able to break rules!

STRUCTURE
We’re not letting anyone break any more rules.

REBELLION
Why not? What are you going to do to me if I break them? Make more rules? Fine with me. Without rules there’s nothing to break.

STRUCTURE
We’re not having this argument, again. Fine, I’ll go with your idea, since Inspiration is running dry.

INSPIRATION
*Gasp* Need…. Water….

STRUCTURE
Ok gang, I think we should proceed to our next agenda.

REBELLION
Bring in those girls!

THE END

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Editor's note:
Moments following the end of this conversation, STRUCTURE willingly surrendered himself to a straight jacket to protect himself from constantly trying to stop the 'rough' activities that followed. PASSION on the other hand surprised even REBELLION with his true nature, with IMITATION being the lesser.

The Play That Never Was

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Farhan is unfortunately still at work with his upcoming blog entry, so meanwhile, for your enjoyment, he has put up an old piece of work. Wonder why it was not accepted as a school play?
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The Play That Never Was

Scene 1 – At the pub
(Boy fooling around and checking out girls’ butts)
Friend 1: Hey boy, look at those girls… (blah blah)
Boy: If you look properly, you can see their g-strings!
Friend 1: Wow! You really can see them! Come, have a drink! (offers beer)
Boy: Alright! This is to all those girls wearing g-strings out there! Cheers!

Scene 2 – On the streets
(Girl helping out helpless fools along the road)
Girl: Oh look! A helpless blind lad! Umm… You helpless lad! Let me help you cross the highly dangerous road!
Blind lad: Oh thank you kind lady. Sigh, I must have bumped into a dozen cars already. Finally I can cross the road safely.
Girl: Don’t mention it. Someone as gorgeous, intelligent, magnificent, helpful, and not to mention humble, as me asks for no reward for kindness.

Scene 3 – Morning assembly
(Girl doing morning announcements)
Girl: Good morning school! Pointless announcements for today: Band members are to return all g-strings to string instruments after school. Choir members who lost their voice are to find them in the dustbin later. Computer club members are to keep porn site passwords to themselves. Thank you.
(Messenger brings flowers to girl)
Messenger: Before I give this to you, I must first apologize.
Girl: What for?
Messenger: For this! Behold this bouquet of beautiful poison ivy from he-who-must-not-be-named! Appreciate this for he is your admirer!
Girl: (squeals) Such fatally beautiful flowers! Whoever sent this must really like me!

Scene 4 – Later
(Boy jumps at girl from behind)
Boy: Hey there!
Girl: (screams) Ah! I almost died of shock you swine!
Boy: Oh never mind that. So, do you like those flowers?
Girl: So you sent me those flowers! How sweet!
Boy: Of course I sent them. Who else would send flowers to someone like you?
Girl: (puzzled) Was that a compliment?
(Couple acts cute and blabber)

Scene 5 – After school
Friend 2: Hey boy, come here. I have something to give you.
Boy: What is it?
Friend 2: Behold, Orgy! Pornography from the west, remixed from the Shards of Narsil! It is time that you see what you were meant to see.
Boy: Oooh! Yummy yummy porn!
Out of nowhere)
Councillor 1: You!
Friend 2: Yes me. Me, me, me.
Boy: Me too!
Councillor 1: Anyway, you are hereby sent for detention under the crime of not sharing pornographic materials!
Boy: Awe… I really wanted to watch it…

Scene 6 – At the Councillor meeting
Councillor 1: Strangers from distant classes, friends of all, we’ve been summoned here to answer the threat of pornography. Our discipline is standing on the brink of destruction. Bring forth the CD.
Councillor 2: It is a gift! Why not use this gift as a reward for those who have done good?
Girl: The CD will have no other master! It must be destroyed!
Councillor 1: She’s right. By life or death, I will help you. You have my sword.
Others: (in a chorus) And my bow! And my axe!
Girl: No need for violence. What else would you like to say, oh Lord of the Ties?
Councillor 1: Oh girl, that boyfriend of yours, he’s involved in this porn business. If you can’t improve him, I suggest you dump him.
Girl: Finally you guys caught him! I’ll see what I can do.

Scene 7 – Somewhere outside
Boy: Hey girl, what’s wrong?
Girl: It’s just that I’ve been blamed for everything that you’ve done wrong. I can’t take this anymore. You must be blamed too!
Boy: Well, I was put in detention where I’m supposed to learn my lesson. Good thing I had my sex ed textbook, I was getting bored in there.
Girl: How many times have I told you to stop this? You just keep coming up with these lame reasons that you’re learning your lesson and that you’d change.
Boy: I’ve been learning, from my sex ed textbook that is.
Girl: I don’t want to be blamed anymore! That’s it! I’m dumping you!
Boy: Wait, can’t I dump you first? Oh well…

Scene 8 – Boy’s room
(Boy reflects on his actions)
Boy: Damn, now I’m single again. Then again, I’m free to date anyone I want.
(Fantasizes about other girls, then gets reminded about girl again)
Boy: I can’t get her out of my head. What she said really touched me. I really have been a bad boy and now I’m suffering from my own actions. Anyway, I’ve seen enough porn to last me my whole lifetime and getting drunk isn’t that fun. I think I really will change for the better this time.
(Throws away porn, gasp!)

Scene 9 – On the streets
(Boy helping our helpless fools along the road)
Boy: Ah, a blind lad. Yo blind lad! Get over here, I’ll help you cross this highly dangerous road.
Bind lad: I’m blind, not deaf. Funny I haven’t died yet.
Boy: Just shut up and let me help you get across. (Grips blind lad tightly)
Blind lad: Wow, such strong hands. I can just see that muscular body of yours…
Boy: Oh my god, you’re gay! (Lets go of blind lad)
Blind lad: Oh shit. (Gets hit by a truck)

(From across the street)
Girl: So boy, you really have changed for the better.
Boy: Well, I got over my past self. Think I should start being good for once.
Girl: I think I’m starting to like you again. Let’s be a couple again!
Boy: Embrace me my lady!
(Hugs each other)

(Corny touchy music playing in the background)
The End

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Editor's note:
The above play was written in reference to the original notes produced for the Sec 2 Councillors' Investiture performance by the 5th Excos. The script went through 3 redrafting (duh) before the final one was settled.